Thursday, December 27, 2018

Safewords



1000 words can’t stop abuse but in BDSM a single word stops everything.
Most people in or out of the BDSM world know what a safeword is and basically how one uses it.

A safeword is a prearranged word/gesture/action that is used as shorthand between a sub and a Dominant to communicate when a limit has been reached and/or the activity needs to stop.

If this is the general definition why do some subs/loveslaves feel that NOT using a safeword is a badge of honor?

Somehow needing to stop or not being able to move beyond their limits can be distorted into some kind of epic fail on the sub’s part. (Psst, it’s not!)

I know from experience and a number of subs I’ve spoken with who hate using their safeword. Somehow, even if you believe in the above definition it still feels like a defeat, as if they weren’t good enough, didn’t trust enough, couldn’t suck it up and tolerate the activity… Basically you feel like you failed as a sub.

In both my BDSM stories: Lock and Key & Secured and Free one of the things I explore is a sub’s relationship with safewords. The stories highlight how a Dom(s) can utilize safewords to re-build trust and keep communication open so the participants can reach beyond current limitations.

Of course, I’ve also heard or seen Doms have a piss poor attitude toward safewords as well. For some Dom, a sub just having a safeword reflects negatively on them as if that safety precaution takes away some of their “power.” I’d question any Dom who wants less ways of hearing their sub’s feedback.

Not having a safeword?
Then there’s the sub or Dom who is proud to boast about not having a safeword during a scene. To me that’s like proudly proclaiming, “I ride a motorcycle without a helmet.” In most cases, it’s simply stupid. (Yes, I said it. Now of course, there might be a negotiated contract beyond the scene but in general not having a safeword is ill-advised.) I don’t care how good of a rider you are, things happen. Wear a damned helmet and have a safeword.

I’ve been with my love for 31 years and I have safeword. Sure, he can read every twitch and facial expression. He probably knows exactly what I’m thinking/feeling, and what I need better than I do just by observing me. But cutting the safety belts out of your car because it has airbags is dumb.
 
Not using your safeword is a disservice to the Dom
(Yeah, I’m totally playing the Dom card.)
Safewords give the Dom the ability to do a scene with confidence they aren’t going too far. Being a Dom or Top is a HUGE responsibility. (If you come across a Dominant that doesn’t understand the significance of what s/he/they are undertaking proceed with much caution or RUN!) Being in charge of a scene requires constant communication with the sub(s). Safewords allow that to happen even if a sub’s expression is difficult read.

This is especially true when you’re working with the higher risk activities: suspension, knife play, breath play. Though any activity of a BDSM even basic bondage, or impact play could go to places where sub/loveslave can be hurt mentally and physically in unexpected ways.

So be a good sub/loveslave have and use your safeword as needed.
To overcome reluctance to use a safeword some implement a stop light system. The Dom can use this to gauge where the activity is putting the sub. Green is fine to go, yellow is still okay but slow down because the sub might be heading for a red light or safeword.

The Dom and sub need to negotiate whether red is a full stop of all BDSM like the safeword or a stop of the specific activity but they want to stay with the scene.

By the Way: Safewords aren’t just for BDSM
When an argument goes south, you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings or have them hurt yours, right? Why not have a word that simply stops the conversation/postpones it for later. My love and I use Radio Silence. This means no more discussion or even words at that time, whoever says it needs a break from the discussion, debate or argument and it should be honored.

If a family member starts attacking you or yours, and your spouse may be unaware since their filters are different but you need a rescue: safeword. (Picture it: your nagging whoever is going at you and you turn to your spouse “Purple Bunny Slippers!” Instantly, s/he attends to the situation as only a blood relative can. BTW: safewords should be one simple word that isn’t normally said in relation to the scene so Purple Bunny Slippers was a joke not a suggestion.)

Again, please keep in mind: this blog is only one viewpoint, a small sampling of one love slave’s opinion.

Always seek your own truth.


I’d love to hear from you so comment here or use the contact information to touch base with me privately.

To contact Z. Allora:
E-mail: Z.AlloraHappyEndings@gmail.com
FACEBOOK:   Z Allora Allora
Twitter: @ZAllora
Dreamspinner: https://bit.ly/2Jv14r1
BIO: Z. Allora believes in happily ever afters for everyone. She met her own true love through the personals and has traveled to over thirty countries with him. She’s lived in Singapore, Israel and China. Now back home to the USA she’s an active member of PFLAG and a strong supporter of those on the rainbow in her community. She wants to promote understanding and acceptance through her actions and words. Writing rainbow romance allows her the opportunity to open hearts and change minds.

Friday, December 21, 2018

What do Sugar Gliders & BDSM have in common?

Nothing! LOL

However, meet Xander's sugar glider in this tiny excerpt from Secured and Free.


Xander shook his head and pulled out his phone. He whispered into it, and Orion got a chirp on his cell. 

He glared but opened the message and played the video. A picture of Xander’s sugar glider, Nippet—named after a baby Ewok in Return of the Jedi—started talking to him in a morphed version of 
Xander’s voice. “Spill.Tell Xander what happened. I don't wanna go all sugar glider on you and eat your face off while you sleep... but the voices. Ah, the voices in my brain will force me to do it... unless you tell your bestest friend ever everything."

Orion chuckled. “I should have never showed you that app!” The application turned pet pictures into talking images. Xander utilized it way too often to threaten and cajole Orion.



Secured and Free is a BDSM menage... with a side of sugar glider sweetness.

Secured and Free Blurb:
An abusive Dom robbed Orion Gordon of his love of BDSM, destroying his confidence and leaving him unsure he’ll ever find peace through submission to another. Still, deep inside, his longing continues.

Marcus Sadir loves Hunter Dixon, yet he can’t be the one thing Hunter truly desires: a sub to control. And Hunter can’t find satisfaction in the sadistic aspects of the BDSM lifestyle, while Marcus thrives on inflicting and sharing pain. When Marcus convinces Hunter they should find a third on a permanent basis, they discover Orion might be the key to bridging their differences and joining them on a deeper level.

But they must help Orion move past his trauma enough for him to enjoy new facets of BDSM and kink again. Their journey toward becoming whole—together—won’t be without challenges. Can Orion trust enough to try again?




Buy Links

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Finding an Art Teacher


Most folks know I love art. When I lived in China I was lucky enough to take classes with art professor. She spoke as much English as I spoke Chinese meaning NOT MUCH.

My teacher and I met at an art auction.

I converted her work but the price quickly went well beyond my budget. I was horrified that the man who won didn’t seem to appreciate her or her incredible talent. He just wanted the status of donating that much to charity.

In my broken Chinese I told her how much I loved her work.

She gave me her number and address.

My friend called for me and scheduled a time for us to meet. I thought I was going to her gallery but she had invited me to her home.

I found out that she was a retired art professor at one of Suzhou’s colleges. I had nothing to lose so I asked if I could persuade her to take me on as a student.

My friend translated.

The artist ran out of the room.

Had I insulted her?

Within 30 seconds she returned with a chopstick in hand and held it out to me.

HOLY FUK! This was my karate kid moment. I could feel it deep in my bones. The pressure built. I didn’t want to screw this up.

I took a deep breath and grasped the chopstick between my fingers and thumb.

She snatched my hand and studied my finger placement.

I started to sweat. Did I do it right?

She looked me in the eye and said, “I teach you.”

I wanted to dance around the room but I settled for shaking her hand and calling her teacher… or mouse because the words sound almost the same.

Over the next six years while I lived in China, I created seven pieces. Chinese Brush Stroke (or water color) is time consuming… especially if you don’t know the language and have little talent for painting. She taught me through demonstration and at times with hand over hand.

I included a few of my pictures. 




Fun Facts:
*Many of the shades of green are made from Indigo Blue and no yellow needed to be added.
*Chinese Water color is done with mostly water.
*You’re supposed to hold your water and your ink brush in one hand (though if you’ve just had carpal tunnel surgery like me that’s not possible).
*Students are not allowed to create original pieces. You learn by reproducing what the Masters before you have made.
*My paintings were made by her tracing other artists designs and then I was to paint them after practicing exactly what to do off page.
*My chop (signature stamp) was too “mannish” for my teacher’s liking.
*After every class she made me eat watermelon > I don’t like fruit. I ate it weekly for six years.

In The Temple of Heaven, Jordon Davis takes art class from my teacher. While once I got past the idea of copying someone else’s work, he does not. We see him struggle with her demands that he adhere to the rules. In the end he negotiates and addresses his issues with drawing his own boundaries.


The Temple of Heaven’s Blurb
Music is Tian Di’s life and his love, and he’s made plenty of sacrifices. His career is finally taking off with his band, Made in China, and he’ll continue to put music first... until he meets Jordon. Then insta- lust becomes insta-love and a commitment to the future—no matter how difficult it might be.
Jordon lives in a bubble constructed by his overprotective older brothers, who are so controlling that they’ve kept him from dating. A talented artist, Jordon managed to keep his success with a Japanese manga publisher a secret from his family, but now he fears discovery. It’s easier to let his brothers handle everything, but Jordon has reached his limit. He’s ready to draw some boundaries so he can be his own man and face all the challenges that come with that.
Their families and careers aren’t the only obstacles. Jordon must accept his identity as a gay man who doesn’t top or bottom. Fortunately, Tian Di—and his special talents—help Jordon open up to his sexuality in an erotic adventure that spans Japan and China, and with love, luck, hard work, and open minds, will end in a happily ever after.

BUY LINKS:

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Happy Hannukkah!


Happy Holidays Blurb:
What do erotic sex toys and Hanukkah have to do with each other?

Absolutely nothing unless you’re a member of the famous rock band The Dark Angels and the shy but kinky Robin gives gifts that guarantee to spice up the holidays!

Each couple makes the most of these unique gifts, blending love and orgasmic fun to REALLY celebrate the holidays.




Thursday, November 29, 2018

Penis Art of Bhutan



How did I NOT know of this? I did research but I was in China at the time which makes me think the censors blocked out the penis-lick-ous-ness of Bhutan. One of the main reasons we opted not to go was there are only 8 pilots in the world skilled enough to land in Bhutan... That's a tad scary!!!!

Below is the link to the article I snapped these pictures from... definitely worth a look.







So take a look at

You Won’t Believe Why Penises Are Painted On Walls In Bhutan

by Nishant Raj                                     Bhutan Penis Art Article LINK


Hugs, Z. 

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Prejudice or Preference?

Many times on dating/hookup apps there are "preferences" that scream RACISM... Here's a video from Britain on this subject.


Understanding the construction of racism and acknowledging their existence allows us to move past the negative to a place where we can help make a positive changes.

Hugs, Z.

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Birthday Wishes


((This is a tiny tale is about Jordon's birthday before The Temple of Heaven.))

Jordon Davis braced himself as he opened the front door. A riot of rainbow-colored foil balloons rained down on him from above.

“Surprise!” His brothers, Dusty and Zack along with their significant others and all the members of the Dark Angels sang Happy Birthday to the hard rocking beat of their last song.

Angel Luv stepped in front of the group, belting out the words like he’d written them. Of course, he went over the top and made the lyrics much sexier than they were meant to be.

Jordon clapped. “Thank you. That was great.”

“Blow your cake.” Josh snarked and gestured to the beautiful creation Zack held. “I mean blow out your candles.”

Robin leaned into Jordon. “And make a wish.”

Yeah, like anything he ever wanted happened. He was twenty and what did he have to show for it? Okay, he did have two somewhat successful mangas. But what else had he done?

Nothing. He never even had a boyfriend. Certainly, no wild sexcapades.  For God’s sake, he was still a virgin living under his brother’s roof.

But as always, Jordon did what was expected. He blew out the twenty rainbow candles on his unicorn cake, and he begged the fates that be for someone to love who would love him back.

Josh asked, “What did you wish for?”

Jordon answered over Robin’s concern of never telling. “The impossible!”

Knock, knock, knock.

“Who is that?” Zack darted to the door.

A police officer flashed a badge as he started to toy with the top button of his shirt. “I heard it’s Jordon’s birthday and I have a special sexy message for him.”

“Oh no you don’t.” Zack slammed the door in the guy’s face.

Knock, knock, knock.

Dusty stomped over and opened the door with Angel, Josh and Andrew playing backup. “Thank you but no thank you. I’ll pass on the birthday greetings. Here’s some money to please stop bothering us.”

“Man, I’m just trying to do my job. No worries man.” He nabbed the offered stack of cash and backed off the porch. “Oh, wait aren’t you—”

The door shut again in the guy’s handsome face.

Jordon’s best friend, Gwendolyn mouthed, “I’m so sorry. I thought a strip-a-gram would be fun.”

Jordon shrugged. “Happy Birthday to me.”

His brothers loved him, but when he was younger he made one very foolish mistake and they’ve been overprotective ever since. No wonder he was untouched. Neither one ever let any of the guys Jordon might have found interested in get close enough for him to hand over his V-card.

Though who was he kidding, what he wanted in bed wasn’t what most guys expected. He’d die a virgin.

The Dark Angels had gathered around him to hug, back slap, and tease him about the presents they got him like his brothers didn’t just cockblock his sexy present.

Zack went into what Jordon considered head roadie mode. He gave a shrill whistle. “Jordon will open presents after cake. Form a line. Drew will cut the cake. Dare offered to scoop the ice cream. And Josh and Justin are doing drinks over there.”

Gwen shoulder bumped Jordon and snorted. “Geez, Zack has got the Dark Angels well trained.”

Jordon nodded.

“Hey sorry about the stripper. I thought… sorry.” She narrowed her gaze on him. “What’s with the sad face? It’s your birthday, Jordon.”

“I’m going to die a virgin—”

“Shhh, not so loud. You’ll wind up in a horror flick as a sacrifice.” Gwen giggled as she swiveled her head around as if making sure they weren’t overheard. “Whew. You’re safe.”

Not able to restrain himself, Jordon chuckled. “Yeah, too safe.”

Gwen grinned. “Hey, maybe you’ll meet your Mr. Perfect on the upcoming Asia tour.”

He gave her a dramatic eye roll. “Yeah, right. Like that could happen.”

Shrugging, she whispered, “You never know.”



The Temple of Heaven Blurb

Music is Tian Di’s life and his love, and he’s made plenty of sacrifices. His career is finally taking off with his band, Made in China, and he’ll continue to put music first... until he meets Jordon. Then insta- lust becomes insta-love and a commitment to the future—no matter how difficult it might be.

Jordon lives in a bubble constructed by his overprotective older brothers, who are so controlling that they’ve kept him from dating. A talented artist, Jordon managed to keep his success with a Japanese manga publisher a secret from his family, but now he fears discovery. It’s easier to let his brothers handle everything, but Jordon has reached his limit. He’s ready to draw some boundaries so he can be his own man and face all the challenges that come with that.

Their families and careers aren’t the only obstacles. Jordon must accept his identity as a gay man who doesn’t top or bottom. Fortunately, Tian Di—and his special talents—help Jordon open up to his sexuality in an erotic adventure that spans Japan and China, and with love, luck, hard work, and open minds, will end in a happily ever after.


Buy Links:
Dreamspinner:
Barnes & Nobles: https://bit.ly/2qsxIle

To contact Z. Allora:
E-mail: Z.AlloraHappyEndings@gmail.com

Thursday, November 8, 2018

What’s the Allure of BDSM?



I hear this question kicked around. I thought this might be a good first topic. Why do some people find BDSM engaging and quite delicious? Here are some possible reasons.

Power Exchange: It’s all about trust. The submissive hands over their mental, physical and at times their spiritual well-being to another/others. The Dominant(s) accepts the responsibility of being in control of someone else’s mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. This can be for the length of a scene, a day, a weekend or a lifetime. The exchange is an agreement that all parties are working with the other(s) to fulfill a need within themselves and satisfy the other(s). What each person gets out of it is unique to them.

submissive Reward: There is a freedom that can come to a submissive when they’re no longer in control. The stress of having to make decisions is shifted to the Dom and the sub can simply be. This is why negotiating a scene/contact/agreement is so important.

Dominant Reward: Receiving someone’s complete trust is heady in and of itself but then being allowed to steer someone to a place some describe as Heaven is a jolt of magic. Doms with a sadistic bent can create intense sensations in someone who has willingly submitted to the journey. Those that get off on control or guiding a sub are also able to find ways of getting those needs fulfilled.

subspace/Topspace: During certain activities or an intense scene pleasure and pain can release a ton of delicious chemicals including endorphins (which can be like a hit of morphine). This magical place is described in various ways and as with most things can be very individual. Some people experience it as: an out of body sensation, a deep calm, euphoria, quiet in the head, joy, nothingness, detached from reality, and possibly delightful incoherence.

Experimentation: BDSM play is something different, exciting, out of the norm. Learning about yourself and your partner(s) by exploring all the things BDSM has to offer can be a fun activity. The very nature of BDSM encourages discussion and communication on new or different activities and allows you to figure out how far you want to go.

Sexy Fantasy: BDSM interactions can be played out in a negotiated safe space. Clubs, dungeons, and play parties usually have staff/Dungeon Masters who can help guide the participants, and if need be intervene. But even if you’re playing in private, you and your partner should be clear as to what is happening so you can shape the experience into something you both want.

Enjoyment of pain: Sensations are sought out and perceptions about pain and pleasure can morph as endorphins are released. (At the risk of getting philosophic: Life is pain. We can’t avoid it. BDSM can allow you to access it and prove not only can you deal with the sensation but can tame pain into something positive.)

Deep Unexplained Need: In a world that is complex and confusing BDSM can provide the stability of a system that allows the very deepest needs met. Some people may have these overwhelming urges to submit/control, give/serve, guide/teach, be accepted and/or to prove themselves worthy. BDSM provides an outlet and activities to pour these needs/desires into. BDSM allows the sub/Dom to achieve and receive satisfaction on the most primitive level.

My Ending Thought: BDSM Play Varies
People need different things and they have different limits.
There’s not just one way to sub/Topspace.
Some people only dabble in sensual dominance (no pain but something more than vanilla sex maybe some toys and fantasy play) to more hardcore the entire spectrum is valid.
Many need/enjoy the ritual of leather, BDSM clothing, a traditional BDSM atmosphere while others don’t.

Get information lots of it: There are lots of workshops, books, online sites, clubs, munches (non-scene meetups), and other people involved who are happy to share. Just please keep in mind information can vary so the more you have the less likely you are to think your way is the only way spoiler: It’s not.

One of the main reasons why I wanted to do this blog is to help people reach a better understanding of BDSM, themselves, and their needs. I want to celebrate the individual expressions across the spectrum of BDSM.

Again, keep in mind: this blog is only one viewpoint, a small sampling of one love slave’s opinion. Always seek your own truth.

I’d love to hear from you so comment here or use the contact information to touch base with me privately. 

Rejected. Heartbroken. Devastated.

Zack Davis wanted to serve only one man, Andrew Nikeman. He was denied because Andrew thought he was too young and because their brothers were together. So Zack crushed his submissive tendencies and focused on being the perfect Dom, giving every sub he played with something he couldn’t have.

After years of denying his submissive side, Entwined’s charity auction “Are you Dom Enough to be a sub?” gives Zack an excuse to get a little of what he’s always craved.

Andrew doesn’t know when his infatuation turned into more, but it kills him to see Zack with a constant parade of submissives. He’d refused to jeopardize his brother’s relationship or become Zack’s regret; however, Zack isn’t a kid anymore, and his brother’s relationship is unbreakable. Now Zack’s popularity and success as a Dom might ruin Andrew’s dreams of collaring him, but he can’t wait any longer to confess his feelings or he risks losing the man he loves forever.


Thursday, November 1, 2018

Top 5 Unique Experiences I had while living in China


1) Being Center of Attention
Usually I happily fade into the background. In China my blonde hair, pale skin, and my blue eyes made that impossible. I became a curiosity people wanted to see… and touch. I started taking pictures of people taking pictures of me.
2) Travel: We were able to travel to Thailand, Cambodia, Japan, South Korea, Tibet, and varies places in China > that I never dreamed of getting to visit… but if you’re almost already there >> WHY NOT?
3) Massages: Having a lovely man named Guy Chuang walked on my back 2-3 times a week. (BTW here’s some TMI when someone walks on my ass I giggle… just saying I find it hysterical) When we first moved to Suzhou massages were $8/hour.
4) I had a housekeeper. I didn’t want one but I was basically told this woman couldn’t be reunited with her son if she didn’t have a second job… I gave her a job but with my obsessive need to clean I didn’t give her much work LOL.
5) Taking art lessons from an art professor. She spoke no English and I spoke only a little Chinese. At times, my teacher would hand over hand show me what she wanted me to do. My friend (& driver) had studied art when he was younger so he joined me at the end of each lesson so she could talk to me directly about my work. (Psst, in The Temple of Heaven Jordon takes a couple art lessons too but he’s more determined than I was to set his own boundaries. I just went along with what the teacher wanted me to do.)


The Temple of Heaven’s Blurb
Music is Tian Di’s life and his love, and he’s made plenty of sacrifices. His career is finally taking off with his band, Made in China, and he’ll continue to put music first... until he meets Jordon. Then insta- lust becomes insta-love and a commitment to the future—no matter how difficult it might be.
Jordon lives in a bubble constructed by his overprotective older brothers, who are so controlling that they’ve kept him from dating. A talented artist, Jordon managed to keep his success with a Japanese manga publisher a secret from his family, but now he fears discovery. It’s easier to let his brothers handle everything, but Jordon has reached his limit. He’s ready to draw some boundaries so he can be his own man and face all the challenges that come with that.
Their families and careers aren’t the only obstacles. Jordon must accept his identity as a gay man who doesn’t top or bottom. Fortunately, Tian Di—and his special talents—help Jordon open up to his sexuality in an erotic adventure that spans Japan and China, and with love, luck, hard work, and open minds, will end in a happily ever after. 








Thursday, October 25, 2018

I EXIST


"The Trump administration is considering narrowly defining gender as a biological, immutable condition determined by genitalia at birth, the most drastic move yet in a governmentwide effort to roll back recognition and protections of transgender people under federal civil rights law."

‘Transgender’ Could Be Defined Out of Existence Under Trump Administration


If you're one of my readers or a Pretty on Facebook you know I'm nonbinary of the transmasculine variety. (I don't adhere to the gender binary and my brain is more boy than anything else > okay some of my z-bies have clarified by saying a 13 yr old boy whose in puberty... okay I resemble that!)

This is another shot at dividing us and reinforcing how little we matter right now.

"The new definition would essentially eradicate federal recognition of the estimated 1.4 million Americans who have opted to recognize themselves — surgically or otherwise — as a gender other than the one they were born into." 

“This takes a position that what the medical community understands about their patients — what people understand about themselves — is irrelevant because the government disagrees,” said Catherine E. Lhamon.

This means the little protections that are granted to Transfolks will be stripped from them. It means the narrow definition means "statistics" taken on hate crimes, suicide rates, funding, everything will be off.

I EXIST.

Here's one of the many articles out there... It's horrifying. Please educate yourself (find me on Facebook or email me with questions and concerns) and VOTE. VOTE. VOTE. VOTE.

Many hugs, Z. Allora


An article in The New York Times Oct. 21, 2018 By Erica L. Green, Katie Benner and Robert Pear

Article: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/21/us/politics/transgender-trump-administration-sex-definition.html?fbclid=IwAR2X4j0DYBdVAS5pOFcXh2-3g8RZDu4HqIflxqBIyU_Q-8nEgY5avUVpqRY

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Meditation


We all know we'd benefit from some calm mindfulness but many of us don't take the time to do so. Here's a website that lets you sign up for free to try out mediation.


Some other ways is focus on your breathing for 60 seconds. Inhale and exhale for longer than you inhaled... again and again.

You might like this guided meditation to relief anxiety. (I've find it helpful)



Enjoy some calm.

Many hugs, Z.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

How an image became a series...


Zombies suck but mine swallow.

The Zombies Coming cover shows Erick McGrath in a cheerleading outfit which was the original plot bunny that forced me to write this series. I needed to know who he was and where he was… I was quite disturbed to find his story was the third in a series.  


Zombie Ahead tells how Club Zombie was started as a haven from zombies. The club is set up so they can get the male essence they need to survive. Book #2 Zombies Suck is the story of Erick’s brother finding out about zombies and becoming one. Zombies Coming is finally Erick’s story. 

At the start of the Zombies Coming, Erick goes to Club Zombie to attend their Drag Night. It’s well outside his comfort zone but he wants to explore what it means to be nonbinary.

Cassidy Frost has been a zombie for twenty-eight-years and is starting to give up on ever finding a mate. He’s exhausted down to his soul but he can’t expect his mate to fall into his lap so he drags himself to the club. Though later that evening when he catches an armful of a gorgeous cheerleader he can only hope….

Zombies Coming
Club Zombie is a safe haven for people like Cassidy Frost. Zombies suck—but they’re not after brains! Forget mindless rotting corpses shuffling along. These zombies are young, hot, and looking for their mates.

Cassidy, who wrote everyone else’s happily ever after, had all but lost hope he’d ever find his own. Every night he sucked until his jaw hurt, praying for his other half more out of habit than faith his mate was out there. He didn’t dare hope fate would drop his mate into his lap.

Erick McGrath stumbled and landed in the arms of a beautiful angel. Though he must be dreaming, because he learned how cruel and short life could be when he lost his brother. Despite his parents’ toxic attitude, Erick starts to accept his nonbinary gender identity. Going to Club Zombie’s Drag Night is his first attempt at embracing his new grasp at freedom.

But Cassidy and Erick will have to take risks to have what they desire.

(Zombies Coming is part of the Club Zombie series but can be read as a standalone for a perfectly happy and satisfying ending.)



Thursday, October 4, 2018

Club Zombie Cover Art


This cover is pretty significant to the entire Club Zombie series. The art is based on the original scene Ally Blue planted in my head, and kept watering it while I lived in China

I said, “I don’t do zombies. There’s just not sexy.”
Ally said, “Come on, Z. I bet you could figure out a way.”
Laughing I added, “Well, if I wrote zombies they wouldn’t be after brains…. Zombies suck but mine would swallow.”
And birth of a series!

For some reason, a person assigned male at birth stood on the landing of a club wearing a cheer leading outfit. (Ally added crooked pony tails to the image.)

I went insane trying to figure out where he was, who he was, and how the hell he was involved with zombies… The next scene was him falling into the arms of a man dressed as an angel… Again, no damn clue.

I needed to write Zombies Ahead and then Zombies Suck to get to Erick’s story.

PL Nunn, the artist who did the cover decided a night time scene would be cool. That’s the way the cover morphed from the landing (which started the series in my head back in early 2011) to showing Erick right after he leaves his car to go into Club Zombie. 



Thursday, September 27, 2018

Nonbinary & Gender Fluid



Erick McGrath is a nonbinary.
"Genderqueer, also known as non-binary, is a catch-all category for gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine‍—‌identities which are outside the gender binary and cisnormativity. Genderqueer people may express a combination of masculinity and femininity, or neither, in their gender expression." (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer)

Cassidy Frost is gender fluid. 
"Genderqueer people may identify as either having an overlap of, or indefinite lines between, gender identity;[2] having two or more genders (being bigender, trigender, or pangender); having no gender (being agender, nongendered, genderless, genderfree or neutrois); moving between genders or having a fluctuating gender identity (genderfluid);[3] or being third gender or other-gendered, a category which includes those who do not place a name to their gender.[4]" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer)

Both nonbinary & gender fluid are under the transgender stripe of the LGBTQIA rainbown.

**Keep in mind >>> Gender is very unique to the person. How they feel it and express is their experience... it might not be everyone else's or it might be**

That's one of my biggest fears of writing this book is people who identify as nonbinary or gender fluid would be upset/hurt because Erick and Cassidy express and present themselves differently than they do. Everyone needs to remember there's a ton of variations in the spectrum of nonbinary & gender fluid.... and everything for that matter.

Zombies Coming

Club Zombie is a safe haven for people like Cassidy Frost. Zombies suck—but they’re not after brains! Forget mindless rotting corpses shuffling along. These zombies are young, hot, and looking for their mates.

Cassidy, who wrote everyone else’s happily ever after, had all but lost hope he’d ever find his own. Every night he sucked until his jaw hurt, praying for his other half more out of habit than faith his mate was out there. He didn’t dare hope fate would drop his mate into his lap.

Erick McGrath stumbled and landed in the arms of a beautiful angel. Though he must be dreaming, because he learned how cruel and short life could be when he lost his brother. Despite his parents’ toxic attitude, Erick starts to accept his nonbinary gender identity. Going to Club Zombie’s Drag Night is his first attempt at embracing his new grasp at freedom.

But Cassidy and Erick will have to take risks to have what they desire.


(Zombies Coming is part of the Club Zombie series but can be read as a standalone for a perfectly happy and satisfying ending.)




Thursday, September 20, 2018

Tian Di Speaks


I’m from Hong Kong. Without going into a lot of history, Hong Kong was a former British Colony and in 1997 we were returned to China but remain an autonomous territory of China. As loathed as I am to admit at having any similarities with Indigo Young (keyboard player & know-it-all), at times I feel as confused and annoyed by Chinese practices as him. Though I’m less whiny about it.

Anyway, ever since I can remember I’ve always wanted to be a singer. My father tried to push me into our family business but I’m not cut out for it. My sister, on the other hand, is great at it. She’s super smart but still loving and kind. When I came out to her she simply hugged me as I sobbed then showed me her collection of Yaoi—I think that’s the right English word for manga about two men together.

I’m a fundanshi which is the Japanese word for the male equivalent to a “rotten women” someone who loves Yaoi. I love the artistry and the beauty but what Yaoi is to me is hope. Hope that someday I’ll be in a place stable enough in my career where I can find a good man and we can love each other. But for now, I’m married to the music.

Speaking of music… Fanservice is part of the cost of fame. Musical television shows are set up with a premise of the bands in some sort of competition with each other but really it is just to see the bandmates do suggestive things that excite their fans. Kissing for exposure, Jin calls it.

Z. wanted to share an exclusive excerpt that takes place during Made in China’s appearance on a Korean TV Show. Made in China is playing Suck Blow… and not the type any of us prefer.

Exclusive Excerpt from The Temple of Heaven:
Tian Di got into his lead singer mode. He kept his eyes down and shifted from foot to foot as if he were nervous. Staring at the ground, he hoped to appear shy as they stood waiting in line for the silly game of Suck and Blow to start.

It wouldn’t benefit his career for fans to figure out sucking face wasn’t the only thing he liked sucking. To say he had an oral fixation wouldn’t be an exaggeration, and if he didn’t need to protect his voice, he’d probably smoke three packs of cigarettes a day or suck—but this was China, not LA.

Tian Di pieced together the information as the MC explained the game rules. “The band able to suck and blow the best....” The MC waited for the crowd to “oh” and “ah.” “Um, suck and blow the most cards wins.”

The wise guy gave his oversized whistle a blow, but the only translation Tian Di received in his ear piece said, “Begin.” As if he couldn’t have figured out what the shrill sound popping his eardrums meant.

Some members of Symmetry sat out the game to keep the teams even. They bounced around the stage and rallied the crowd.

Styx leaned over and with the necessary suction, picked up a card, then shifted it to Jin. Jin slowly pursed his lips and blew away the queen of hearts before he planted a big kiss on his boyfriend’s lips.

Nice! Way to pull the attention to Made in China.

Styx blushed and his hand fluttered to his mouth as if the lip press were a big surprise to him. Styx must have decided to ham it up, because he shrugged to the audience, and then he and Jin shared a quick smile. The audience ate the affection up.

Damn, Styx and Jin fit together like puzzle pieces. Tian Di’s heart clenched. He coveted the deep connection they had. Each touch, look, and kiss they shared served only to remind him of everything he lacked in his life. A couple of years ago, exchanging blowjobs with a fanboy would have been more than enough to satisfy him, but now... he was lucky to be flexible.

He had never been so long between men. He wasn’t picky. Young and old, Tian Di found reasons to enjoy whoever offered to spend time with him. Though things had changed over the last year. The last guy he’d been with, while skilled, left him feeling empty afterward.

He could barely believe it, but he craved more than casual encounters. Maybe living with people who really loved each other highlighted how fleeting and inadequate the passing pleasure had become. He twisted his ring to remind himself of his goals.

Styx sucked, latching on to the eight of spades, and turned toward Jin.

The audience got louder as Jin tucked his fingers into Styx’s belt loop and tugged him close. Jin grazed his lips across the card as if he were kissing Styx, and then he turned to blow the card to Indigo’s lips.

Indigo sucked the card away from Jin, turned toward the camera, and wiggled his eyebrows. He grabbed Tian Di’s waist.

Tian Di tossed his hair over his shoulder.

The audience sighed.

Indigo glared at him.

Whatever. Tian Di tilted his head to the left and pursed his lips in the best pout he could manage so he could receive the playing card from Indigo’s lips. He ignored the angry daggers Indigo threw.

Tian Di sucked the card against his mouth. He could see Styx and Jin working on their next card.

Stepping back, Tian Di bumped into Li, who steadied him. “Come on. Give me a card! Symmetry is winning.”
The scoreboard displayed two to zero.

Tian Di blew the card to Li who sucked the card and got it into the basket. They scored a point.

Jin passed the next card to Indigo, which he transferred without incident to Tian Di.

Wanting to build the drama, Tian Di turned nice and slow, giving the camera big eyes, and even fluttered his lashes. He leaned toward Li and couldn’t prevent the ace of diamonds from falling to the floor, causing him to plant his mouth on Li’s.

Li’s lips were soft, his kiss thorough, though mechanical. The kiss held affection but lacked passion. It appeared to be nothing like the kisses Li exchanged with Indigo.

The crowd clapped and stomped their feet, unaware there was no chemistry between them.

Putting a hand over his mouth, Tian Di playfully batted at Li.

Li’s eyes flashed amusement.

The onstage monitors showed young women had jumped out of their seats, screaming like they’d won the lottery. Some hugged the person next them, and a few even started to cry.

Success. That was what this game was all about: fan service.

The game continued, and after half a deck of cards, even Styx appeared to relax and get into the spirit of silliness. He dropped the card right as Jin sucked, and their lips touched. He clung for a moment.

Tian Di was sure when the program aired, there’d probably be hearts around their heads at every mistake, which would be shown in slow motion. He was good with the games... right?

For fuck’s sake, was this worse than blowing your way to the top? At least with a suck fest, once the guy in charge shot off, Tian Di could rinse out his mouth and put the incident out of his head. But these damned pictures would be following him throughout his career... however, this show would be enabling that career, so he needed to deal. He had to keep his eyes on the prize.


Thank you for letting me share a bit about The Temple of Heaven with you.


Many hugs, Z. 

The Temple of Heaven’s Blurb
Music is Tian Di’s life and his love, and he’s made plenty of sacrifices. His career is finally taking off with his band, Made in China, and he’ll continue to put music first... until he meets Jordon. Then insta- lust becomes insta-love and a commitment to the future—no matter how difficult it might be.
Jordon lives in a bubble constructed by his overprotective older brothers, who are so controlling that they’ve kept him from dating. A talented artist, Jordon managed to keep his success with a Japanese manga publisher a secret from his family, but now he fears discovery. It’s easier to let his brothers handle everything, but Jordon has reached his limit. He’s ready to draw some boundaries so he can be his own man and face all the challenges that come with that.
Their families and careers aren’t the only obstacles. Jordon must accept his identity as a gay man who doesn’t top or bottom. Fortunately, Tian Di—and his special talents—help Jordon open up to his sexuality in an erotic adventure that spans Japan and China, and with love, luck, hard work, and open minds, will end in a happily ever after.
Dreamspinner Press: