Excerpt from Secured and Free: Orion is Xander's best who is pushing him to speak to his crush Quillon. Hunter is a Dom sitting at the table where the interaction takes place.
Orion answered, “Xander would love to chat with you.”
Quillon stood slowly, and some of his confidence drained away. “You know I’m trans, right?”
Xander shrugged. “I’m pan.”
Folding his arms, Quillon glared. “Why did you say that? To let me know that you’re still interested even if I’m not a real guy?”
“Um, no. I thought we were sharing who we were.” Xander ducked his head and muttered, “I know some guys have issues with me being pansexual, so I figured I’d share that upfront.”
Quillon studied Xander. “Why’d you shrug?”
“I don’t know. I do it a lot.” Xander shrugged again.
Xander pushed away from the table and stood. In anyone else, the
slow measured movements might have appeared aggressive, but Xander’s longing glances toward the nearest exit eliminated that interpretation. “Look, maybe this is a bad idea.”
Hunter rooted for Quillon to salvage the opportunity, but he better get to it.
“Nah, man, my bad. I’ve got a hair trigger on certain things.” Quillon put his left hand in his back pocket. “I’m sorry I assumed.”
“It’s okay. I get it.” Xander’s quiet voice broke a little.
“I’d like to get to know you.” Quillon ran his fingers along Xander’s forearm.
Orion cleared his throat. When he had Xander’s attention, he nodded.
Quillon quirked his lips and asked, “So, um, pan. What type of flute do you play?”
“Ha-ha. Can I say all of them?” Xander’s words were strained, but a chuckle snuck out. “No, pansexual.... I have a kitchen fetish.”
Quillon snorted and rolled with the joke as he led Xander away, asking, “Does it include all kitchenware or just pans?”
Quillon's concern is a valid but I paired him with a person who happens to be pansexual anyway WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT?
One of my top goals of why I publish is I want to validate all variations within each stripe of the rainbow... but I write SLLLLOOOOOWWWWLLLLLLY. (It frustrates the hell out of me trust me!)
My character Jake O'Neil from Illusions & Dreams is responsible for this pairing. Jake was wild and sexually expressive because he was pansexual, but because that's who he was, and I paired him with my adorable but VERY kinky Boon-nam. They were paired for what they each wanted out of life, sex and love not based on their gender identity or sexual orientation. She happens to be a transwoman.
Clearly, my own kinky filter I view the world through affected why Jake and Boon-nam were paired. Boon-nam craved someone who could keep up with her desire to explore the kinky side of sex and Jake needed someone who was his equal in bed as well as in life. Bad boy Jake was sexy Boon-nam's match. Unfortunately this could be seen as me reinforcing the idea only someone who is pansexual would find a trans person attractive >>>> which was NEVER my intent and is truly incorrect!
Fast forward to Xander. We first meet him in Lock and Key. He was just so damned sweet and protective of Orion. I explored who he was and found out he wasn't Orion's love interest but that he was pansexual.
Around the same time I talked to someone who was pansexual in my PFLAG. We discussed how people's perceptions of what pansexuality was and how it impacted their life.
Ah Ha! I was thrilled I could now show a character who was pansexual but wasn't wild like Jake (who literally fucked a hole in the wall at a party...). Double happy dance!
I discovered more of my character's history, and found out Xander had a crush on someone... and Quillion appeared and DAMN! The notes on the scenes I have between the two make me very excited to write their story.
But OH SHIT! I did it. I paired someone who is transgender with someone who is pansexual again! ARGH!!!!
I swear I don't think that's the only orientation that would be attracted to someone who is transgender... But my damn kinky filter and slow writing make it appear this way. (Granted I could simply change the orientation of Xander but I'm one of those author's who can't be dishonest about who the characters are... )
Though I trust most people know it is just happenstance that two of my pansexual characters fell for characters who happened to be transgender based on their kinkiness. It's not a statement beyond
And while I'm here explaining myself: When Illusions & Dreams was submitted several years ago the publishing house had very different criteria for their transgender books. They decided to keep Illusions & Dreams on their bookshelf even though it no longer quite fit.
Quillon stood slowly, and some of his confidence drained away. “You know I’m trans, right?”
Xander shrugged. “I’m pan.”
Folding his arms, Quillon glared. “Why did you say that? To let me know that you’re still interested even if I’m not a real guy?”
“Um, no. I thought we were sharing who we were.” Xander ducked his head and muttered, “I know some guys have issues with me being pansexual, so I figured I’d share that upfront.”
Quillon studied Xander. “Why’d you shrug?”
“I don’t know. I do it a lot.” Xander shrugged again.
Xander pushed away from the table and stood. In anyone else, the
slow measured movements might have appeared aggressive, but Xander’s longing glances toward the nearest exit eliminated that interpretation. “Look, maybe this is a bad idea.”
Hunter rooted for Quillon to salvage the opportunity, but he better get to it.
“Nah, man, my bad. I’ve got a hair trigger on certain things.” Quillon put his left hand in his back pocket. “I’m sorry I assumed.”
“It’s okay. I get it.” Xander’s quiet voice broke a little.
“I’d like to get to know you.” Quillon ran his fingers along Xander’s forearm.
Orion cleared his throat. When he had Xander’s attention, he nodded.
Quillon quirked his lips and asked, “So, um, pan. What type of flute do you play?”
“Ha-ha. Can I say all of them?” Xander’s words were strained, but a chuckle snuck out. “No, pansexual.... I have a kitchen fetish.”
Quillon snorted and rolled with the joke as he led Xander away, asking, “Does it include all kitchenware or just pans?”
Quillon's concern is a valid but I paired him with a person who happens to be pansexual anyway WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT?
One of my top goals of why I publish is I want to validate all variations within each stripe of the rainbow... but I write SLLLLOOOOOWWWWLLLLLLY. (It frustrates the hell out of me trust me!)
My character Jake O'Neil from Illusions & Dreams is responsible for this pairing. Jake was wild and sexually expressive because he was pansexual, but because that's who he was, and I paired him with my adorable but VERY kinky Boon-nam. They were paired for what they each wanted out of life, sex and love not based on their gender identity or sexual orientation. She happens to be a transwoman.
Clearly, my own kinky filter I view the world through affected why Jake and Boon-nam were paired. Boon-nam craved someone who could keep up with her desire to explore the kinky side of sex and Jake needed someone who was his equal in bed as well as in life. Bad boy Jake was sexy Boon-nam's match. Unfortunately this could be seen as me reinforcing the idea only someone who is pansexual would find a trans person attractive >>>> which was NEVER my intent and is truly incorrect!
Fast forward to Xander. We first meet him in Lock and Key. He was just so damned sweet and protective of Orion. I explored who he was and found out he wasn't Orion's love interest but that he was pansexual.
Around the same time I talked to someone who was pansexual in my PFLAG. We discussed how people's perceptions of what pansexuality was and how it impacted their life.
Ah Ha! I was thrilled I could now show a character who was pansexual but wasn't wild like Jake (who literally fucked a hole in the wall at a party...). Double happy dance!
I discovered more of my character's history, and found out Xander had a crush on someone... and Quillion appeared and DAMN! The notes on the scenes I have between the two make me very excited to write their story.
But OH SHIT! I did it. I paired someone who is transgender with someone who is pansexual again! ARGH!!!!
I swear I don't think that's the only orientation that would be attracted to someone who is transgender... But my damn kinky filter and slow writing make it appear this way. (Granted I could simply change the orientation of Xander but I'm one of those author's who can't be dishonest about who the characters are... )
Though I trust most people know it is just happenstance that two of my pansexual characters fell for characters who happened to be transgender based on their kinkiness. It's not a statement beyond
And while I'm here explaining myself: When Illusions & Dreams was submitted several years ago the publishing house had very different criteria for their transgender books. They decided to keep Illusions & Dreams on their bookshelf even though it no longer quite fit.
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